The priority trap

It’s challenging to be an entrepreneur- no matter what business you’re in. Yet actors are faced with the additional struggle to set their priorities right. The seemingly overwhelming amount of work actors are supposed to put in (and the little actual time they have for that) as well as last minute schedules appear to make it almost impossible to lead a successful business... Wrong! Let’s look at how to distinguish between a real opportunity and a waste of your precious time.

The problem starts with the endless struggle to make money - which pushes almost ever actor right into the arms of gastronomy. The sad truth is: Serving also burns you out, gets you quickly comfortable or, even worse, lowers your confidence in becoming a working actor. Deciding to work as a waiter is especially difficult when you don’t have a plan and catch yourself dropping the whole acting thing since that would cost the same energy to do it right (which you don’t have since you're hiding in a diner). I wonder why actors don’t think bigger and rule creative financial solutions out before even giving them a try?! Why not producing your own projects, working in the business, doing extra work (an excellent way to meet people) or finding ways to make more money in less time? Do your job of being a creative person and get creative with that too! Open up for better possibilities.

True dedication requires maintenance. You can only act with self esteem and a true hunger for it - which you are responsible for. Not many actors maintain a balance between their job and pursuing a career. Sometimes it’s even more useful to truly commit to being a waiter for a while, distant yourself from acting, pick a different life you can gain confidence in and then come back to it. It’s hard to perform well, if your constant state of mind is stress, unhappiness or feeling like you’ve enslaved yourself to the money machine.

If you're a beginner actor, you probably still have the spark that it takes to be an actor. You glow from positivity, enthusiasm and thinking about your big dreams! Yet be aware you're not ready to work until your first successes have settled in and you had time to get used to the glory. Otherwise you might end up blowing your success out of proportion, believing every tiny success is a major step, and ending up with a head that's too big to carry. I know being in this industry often seems like a long dry spell without water, but if you catch yourself being desperate for success, you’ve fallen into the rabbit hole. Even worse is when you can’t pass for being a beginner any more, but still convince yourself this no budget music video you just booked will be your breakthrough. Knowing where you stand will be your first step.

Of course it’s not easy to stay objective in a business that promises an exciting life, but is extremely hard to get into. You want to belong so badly. I understand. I also understand that, just to stay sane in a city that produces selfish people with no time to connect with others, you need to get away once in a while. But I'd suggest you only do so, if you’ve deserved it by actually working hard to become a serious actor! Not if you’re stuck in an endless string of self inflicted struggles, got sucked into a state of misery or too afraid to face the truth - then it might be time to take a step back and face facts instead of running away. It’ll humble you and probably change your route for the better! Don’t be afraid to suffer- it heals.

Actors tend to burn themselves out instead of deciding to be effective. They get overwhelmed by responsibility; forget what they’re fighting for in the first place. The common 'denial' is simply an excuse not to take action, which will eventually catch up with them anyway. That's why keeping the focus is crucial! If you lose what you’re trying to achieve it’ll only take a few days until things get difficult and you, probably even unnoticeable, get frustrated. A bestselling book I can highly recommend is: http://www.theartistsway.com/

The next important step is to learn to say NO. "Nope", "nah, "I don’t think so" works too. How often do we have to make a decision between making money, shooting a short film, reading a ninety pages script, going grocery shopping, submitting to more projects, attending three birthday parties and taking the dog to the vet? It’s a matter of deciding what’s most important plus learning to navigate; maybe even asking others to help out.

Regarding projects it’s helpful to turn a project down that's plastered with red flags and will cause more headaches than possibilities to show your best. Stay critical! Be aware of the level you’re at and turn down projects that are still figuring how to light a shot, while you’re ready to try yourself at serious parts for your first demo reel. It might take some time to find those jewels, but they’re worth looking for and prevent you from falling back by selling yourself under value. Nobody cares if you had a gap between projects if you only do quality work. Everyone will respect you for that! Don’t forget it’s always an option to shoot something yourself that’s rich and designed for the exact part you’d like to go out for. Sometimes it’s even more advised to invest a few hundred dollars into that instead of running after other projects. 

I myself have shot this really promising short film last year - awesome script, perfectly shot and a truly great first edit - which never got finished! Can you believe it? The project failed, because one lead actor obviously was so overwhelmed on set he messed up his part and had to be cut out of the project… A fact that disappointed the director that much, he never finished the film. A sad story (and more reason to appeal to actors to be ready!) and something I’m still mourning over on a weekly basis, but writing it off as ‘depending on other people which is, and sadly always will be, part of the business’. So be smart, be proactive.

Next: How to spot a project that actually has potential to go somewhere or at least challenges you as a performer? Of course it’s not easy, but there’re indications. You can train your eye for a good script by simply reading famous scripts you can download online, talking to writers or filmmakers, reading genius books like ‘Save the cat’ and analyzing your favourite films! This will benefit you in the long run and school you in filmmaking – which is important for any actor since understanding the process of filmmaking helps them being supportive on set! I love actors who offer their help instead of complaining, because they’re in the know of the challenges in filming. Be prepared to wait sometimes and bring a book.

A project that has a great script is usually a clear indication that the filmmakers are talented and experienced. Screenwriting is much harder than it looks, so it takes time to be good. If you found one, it’s time to find a character that gives you plenty of room to show your skills. Make sure you have a few lines and, ideally, an arc in the scene to make it valuable for your demo reel. Production wise it’s usually good to look at the experience, communication and ambition of the team. When they work professionally from the start, they’ll most likely take it seriously all the way. Otherwise you have given it your all, got your hopes up and are left behind empty handed.

The next thing worth mentioning: Be grateful to work!! Actors always complain about the stage of their career, yet it seems common they don’t give it their full attention once they get the chance. Flaky behavior, coming unprepared or showing ‘attitude’ often stems from insecurities of course, but I suggest you don’t let those get into your way of becoming a professional. Ungrateful behaviour (when others would kill for the same chance) is simply wrong and a lame excuse to not give it your best. You booked the gig? Make it priority. Even if you have a lot of other things going on: Show respect and don’t bother the director with your busy day. It will do miracles if you give his project your full attention!

Then you're ready to do the work because you have a chance. Actors often forget to do that, even when a good project finally comes their way, because they’re so used to constantly looking for the next one. What’s important to understand is that one great role can make a career; a list of flops often destroys one. If you’re doing as many projects as you can to get approval, you might consider therapy instead. So be alarmed not to pass on a fabulous opportunity. One of my acting coaches once said: ‘Imagine you’re standing in front of a jury and, based on your true factual evidence, they’ll decide whether you’re an successful actor or not.’ A crucial thing to say, but probably the best advice I ever got.

Once you know you have landed a project that’s worth fighting for, act professionally! Make sure you’re always on time, work the script, prepare your scenes, rehearse or work with a coach, spend enough time with the character and come fully prepared - no matter what’s going on that day (even if that means to sacrifice sleep or ditching your friend from NY). You never know when and how your next career lapse will happen in this business, so be ready! If your friends don’t understand that, you might need to find new ones. Actors often seem to have an issue with being on time so be the exception!


It should go without saying, but don’t try to get away with things by blaming it on your overbearing emotions. If you’re a slave to your feelings, you’re unpredictable and will probably explode or act upon them in the least appropriate moments. Being able to feel doesn’t make you a good actor – if that’s what you’re thinking. Being able to show them in your work will. If you can’t control them: Seek help, acknowledge your triggers and use them in your work in front of the camera instead of behind. You can have a bad day but nobody has to know that. Filmmakers want to see passion - not the necessity to ground or babysit you. Some directors might not even notice or care, but be aware that your uncontrolled emotions can quickly distract you from the scene. Mostly it’s fear, so see it as that and pick yourself up.

Another part of acting professionally is to make it possible for people to reach you. Everyone has five minutes to return a call (unless you’re on vacation without a functioning phone or on set). If you don’t call back, nor answer your phone, you demonstrate something else is more important. That’s never a good way to treat a production. This is what you’ve been waiting for so don’t blow it because you think you’re suddenly in charge. Be considerate, think out of your own schedule and realize that your actions affect other people. If you had an emergency or were truly wrapped up with something important, at least apologize for it and try to make it up next time by being overly professional.

Communication is one of the main tools actors underestimate, even get intimidated by. Yet shooting films means being part of a team you need to communicate with. If you lie, cheat or pretend to be very busy when someone would like you to be part of a promising project, you scream 'attention' instead of 'I'm here and ready!'. That also makes you a master of self sabotage and will plaster your path with failures all by yourself. Marketing is an art form which creates the opposite effect when you’re trying to imitate success, but get caught faking it. Don’t be difficult by demanding certain time slots for your private problems or appointments that you could actually reschedule to accommodate the production. If ten people complain about the same things with you, they’re probably true. Be smart and learn.

Everyone has their reasons to do things a certain way, yet that doesn’t always make it right. It’s actually necessary to create a framework for our job that enables you to focus on being an actor. Not just by getting help from an agent, but living a certain lifestyle yourself. Much of that has to do with your principles, consideration of other people and ability to learn. Asking for help with whatever you have troubles with, is often the key! Great ways for that are friends, therapy, group meetings or acting communities. There're plenty in this town.

You’re ready to work as soon as you have the right attitude, knowledge and rhythm to navigate your business to the top. Learn where you have a tendency to set your priorities wrong and change it. Be in the moment, compare the current decision with your overall plan and make the right decision! You owe it to your dreams.

Your PriorNista

Using SEX right

Today’s blog will be about - no, not prostitution - but the controversy about SEX and selling it to the public. It’s been close to my heart to address this important (and all so present) problem in Hollywood for quite some time now, so here it is.


Fact is: Sex is, and will probably always be, the most wonderful thing in the world. We can all agree on that, right? Not just because it burns calories faster than any fitness studio or lifts us into hormone heaven, but because it’s an adventure! It takes us away, creates shelter; even helps us escaping from our mostly boring days. We feel FREE.


Unfortunately we’re not the only ones in the know, but have to share that wisdom with people who make their living with manipulation: the media. Oh and how they exploit it! But it seems like I’m not the only one being annoyed by the flood of photoshopped bodies. Placed in almost every music video, commercial, film, and TV show (not even subtle!) the creators seem to forget that not everyone IS sexy.


The reason why most of the media’s forceful attempts fail is: They haven’t been done right! Not everyone is turned on by anorexic teenagers posing as if they knew what sex appeal is. A photoshopped poster of plastic faces doesn’t do it for me either. Nor do bodies that seem to go through fitness torture on a daily basis. What's important for me is that the performer is comfortable with himself and enjoys it. Not everyone is. Please don’t over saturate us with painfully forced porn pictures! It takes away the pleasure and has the opposite effect - it commercializes sex.


The same goes for upcoming young directors who mistake a half naked scene in their amateur short film for a sexual experience. It’s just not the same. I do understand the problem of not getting laid, but lots of skin has and will never make up for a crappy story. Trust me - it has been tried before.


America of course has its own issues with sex- especially in comparison with the rest of the world that wasn’t founded by puritans. If only the conflict of ‘selling sex’ and ‘somehow holding on to treating it respectfully’ would finally come together in a satisfying compromise. The contradictions have been going on long enough. Make sex a healthy and a beautiful thing again! Otherwise the porn industry will continue to define it, and create an entire breakdown of gender communication.


Porn, the epitome of selfish pleasure (masculine that usually is), seems to be the last manly resort in today’s isolation. Unfortunately all it does is portraying women in an funny way and planting images in men’s head that create a bizarre expectation. Not to mention how it demystifies the act of love and makes it an act of sex. Shouldn’t sex actually be sensual, about a connection and love? As far as I’m concerned its very definition is seduction, playfulness, connection and passion- not a technique.


Something else I’ve especially noticed in the states is that recent shifts, changes and modernizations have created chaos - followed by confusion. Men here are desperate because women have been taught to be hard to get. The women on the other hand, tease men (with the shortest dresses I’ve ever seen) but they need at least five paid for dates (a very American concept) to be won over. Wow - that sounds like a lot of work before you even get to check if you’re sexually compatible! Why being so difficult and resist natural desire?


I mean: We do live longer, but I certainly don't want to waste my time with someone who never French kissed before! Am I wrong? And I'm not talking about sleeping with any man I’ve met ten minutes ago, but acknowledging a heavy flirtation and allowing it to lead into a one night adventure if it presents itself?!


American women often even ban sex completely because their upbringing caused a ‘princess syndrome’ making them believe, they’re too good for any man (supposedly caused by the last generation of single mothers & their disappointment in the father of their children). I don't think that's fair... That can't be good for anyone. Plus: It creates a huge distant and makes the men look bad. There will always be insecurities in relationships but it’s all a matter of communication! 

a sexy attempt

Sex is power- but it shouldn’t be ‘overpowering the opposite sex’, neither exploiting the female sexuality. I vote for “making love” to come back in fashion!!! Here’s my sexy picture I took while seducing, gaming and falling into passion with the man behind the camera.

Your SexyNista.

Agents aren't magicians!



Creating our own hype @Playboy mansion,
April Malina/ Jessica Franz



The other day in Hollywood: Mr. X "Who is your agent? Oh, you don't have one... That's too bad. Well, I'm with [name drop]." Me "Nice! So do they get you a lot of work?!" Mr. X "They don't really get me anything..."

This actually gives a pretty accurate picture of the situation in this town- especially lately. So please: Don't be embarrassed not to be signed yet- it doesn't mean anything!! You either don't have an agent, or you have one who doesn't do anything for you. Both isn't good, but realistic right now. The truth is: There probably even isn't enough to even get you in on. There's still no money spend or to be made at the moment.

Looking at it from an actor's perspective there's of course reason to complain about the standstill of our careers. Yet the poor agents are definitely not the ones to blame. Since I'm also working on "the other side" of the industry, I feel like setting the record straight what the people on our side can and will do. Agents are our friends. Agents might have a couple of contacts they can pull for you, but they are just as much depended on our genius, boldness and ability to create a hype around us! They aren't magicians.

With billions of people in this world (and half of them wanting to become actors these days) it is only understandable that not everyone can represent our craft and work as a performer. But if you are: There's still a lot more to do than being fabulous, loving the human condition and possessing the willingness to make a fool of ourselves in front of a camera.

It takes a mission. I want to know what you have to say, what your insights are, how inspiring you can be. And most of all: How authentic you are in the midst of lost souls. So SHOW IT!! It is called SHOW-business, not Hide-business. This includes showing it in short films (only the ones that have a minimum of professionalism please- otherwise you waste your time on something that won't be worth your time), theatre or independent films if nothing else.

What most people seem to forget: Everyone had to start somewhere and you wouldn't be the first one committing to a small film that suddenly becomes a festival hit. THEN you get discovered while WORKing- not depressing in your room, selling yourself on parties or hoping to win the award for "best dressed no name nobody has ever seen acting on a red carpet event". I heard the other day that even Angelina Jolie, though being daughter of influential people, did dozen of student films before landing Gina (an independent film!) and getting noticed for the first time.

As soon as you are ready, radiate esprit and success, the agent will be able to get you on that train and manage your ride. Anything before that is like believing in the Easter bunny: A cute story but unfortunately an unrealistic myth.

Your RealisTA

Learning to be effective!

Lu & Byrne's successfull series

Today's blog is about the hope within the community of artists that 'deciding to be one' is enough. I wish it was true- because it would be amazing if we could be creative all the time without worrying about the rest. But life isn't like that, nor is art. So let's look at the work we're realistically putting in to become a true actor.

First the good news: The amount of talented, free spirited artists in Hollywood is as big as entire countries. Meeting people that not only think alike, but understand the concept of freeing their minds from conformity makes me truly happy. Now the bad news: The amount of wrong turns that are being made and ineffective priorities focussed on is just as big (a fact that not only leads to dead ends but also wastes a lot of time).


I'm well aware of the fact that this town can be overwhelming and the frustrating cycle of "aspiration - attempt - failure - compensating" is very hard to break. My personal tip is: Find something that grants you independence from this flaky business! Otherwise you enslave yourself to booking the next job, be validated, making the next meeting the one that counts, etc. It only leads to despair and, if unsuccessful, feeds your insecurities you're trying to get rid of. The success is within you- not the result of your actions. The world around you is fragile and will likely go through transitions, but that doesn’t affect you if you're wholesome.



Kristin- commercial queen!

Much more important is to realize when things don't work out and make us search for the reason why. How many times do we keep on trying the exact same thing, hoping it will result in a different outcome next time, when we should really listen to our intuition that tries to tell us: How you're going about it doesn't work so try something new!



Some things will work for others, but don't necessarily work for us -especially because we are all different. Being an actor we have to cover: Projects, acting classes, marketing, headshots, representation and networking. It's unfortunate, all of those elements are equally important and will cause a halt if one of them is neglected- but that's the reality of it. Your acting, work ethic, personality and marketing combined are your package. It’s a very complex but necessary one. What it comes down to is being professional within your profession. Unfortunately the competition is fierce and pressure (with the flood of aspiring performers and deficit in jobs) higher than ever before. 


J Kristopher on set

What's important is to focus on what you're best in first, and then get help from others to improve the rest. The optimum is to be good at most things yourself, because you're your own boss and should be in charge of your life. I can't even count how many times an honest, interesting conversation with an actor has turned into a clumsy attempt to sell himself to me. No agent, saving him, in sight! I wish he hadn’t tried at all or waited until he actually knows anything about pitching, but actors usually try to sell themselves without having a clue how to...! Not everyone is an excellent marketer, but there’re tricks for everything so do your homework.

Marketing techniques and business tricks are extremely helpful in any job. But having experiences with those from jobs I had I realize how much they'd do for actors too. The industry mostly is business- besides the little time an actor spends in front of the camera. So a book on it or a short lesson from your marketing friend is highly recommended! We're actors - so we learn fast and it shouldn't be a problem to play the part that gets us where we want to be. Don't forget it's all a game.

If you're interesting and got talent - people will notice! Trust me. Don't worry about that. What every teacher in this town will train you in is: Be authentic, know your strength, admit problems - don't cover it up. Trying is always better than not. If you're a true performer we want to see your list of projects or at least workshops you're taking. Never make yourself sound more than you are because that's just another form of lying. Be honest, get sympathy by making a joke or focus on strong facts. Show determination if you don't have much to back your career choice up with yet!



Tommy the old schooler



Some good examples of my effective actor friends are: My friends Byrne and Lu who created an entire season of their own web series "My roommate the", experimenting with interesting characters they wanted to try out! Or my actress friend Kristin who just booked five commercials (!) within one month by making the bold move to fire her entire representation, getting a new one and gathering all her strength to succeed in the plenty of chances she suddenly got. Then there's J who already brings so much to his characters in small projects, he already gets invited to major auditions because of the quality in his work. Tommy is an excellent networker and knows so many filmmakers he practically has three new projects lined up already- because he’s talented and a nice guy people like!

Every great movie shows you how to make something out of an early or unfortunate state of your career (especially the ones with Matt Damon), so steal Gresham’s moves! Be active, honest and work hard. If you're lost or have trouble seeing the wrong turns: Call me! We’ll make an appointment. I'm cheap and highly motivated to expand the “true artist’s community” by helping you make effective choices. :P

Your MotivatNista.